Writing a book is not only a journey of transformation for the people you’re writing it for. It becomes a transformational vehicle for yourself as well. However, at some point in writing their masterpiece, a lot of authors either get stuck or struggle a little bit. Writer’s block happens for multiple numbers of reasons. Transformational change expert, speaker, and author Wendy Darling delves into writer’s block and what writer’s block is really telling you in your life. Wendy is the founder of Miraculous Living, a personal and professional growth organization offering presentations, seminars, retreats, and private coaching dealing with matters of the heart.
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What Your Writer’s Block Is Really Telling You with Wendy Darling
We have an awesome guest and we’re going to talk about something a little bit different for all of you writers. We have Wendy Darling, who is a transformational change expert speaker and author. She is the Founder of Miraculous Living. It is a personal and professional growth organization, offering presentations, seminars, retreats and private coaching on dealing with matters of the heart. Wendy’s a recognized expert on navigating change and achieving your desired results for a transformational system, healing harmonics, provides a vehicle for achieving those results with greater ease and speed. Wendy has over 30 years of experience as business and life transformation expert, master healing practitioner, management and organizational development consultant, manager, executive, entrepreneur, radio talk show host and keynote speaker. In the area of transformation, we’re going to talk about writer’s block and what it is telling you in your life. Not many people realize that writing a book is not only a journey of transformation for the people you’re writing it for, but it becomes a transformational vehicle for yourself as well. Tell us about your writing experience. You wrote your book very quickly.
I have two that are still in the works. One is about 96% complete, the other is about 50%. I’ve held back on the second one for personal reasons. I had attempted to write a book on and off for many years. I would get a few chapters written, but then I stopped. What helped me is I worked with somebody who helped me get out of my insights, what I wanted to be expressed. We just mind dumped a whole lot of things and then organized it in a way that chapters eventually got identified. I had a pretty loose sense of what I wanted to have in my book. What I did for myself because I remember the first time I thought about writing a book, it was like, “How could I possibly write 180 to 200-plus pages of something?”
What ended up happening was I went, “I’ve written a lot of articles, isn’t a chapter like an article?” The reason I’m mentioning this is I think that is sometimes what interferes with people writing because they see it as a big project, instead of chunking it down. I even remember contacting my publisher back then saying, “I’m already on chapter whatever. I don’t remember the details any longer and I am at only X number of thousands of words. This is going to be just this tiny little book.” I just kept chunking and I kept moving forward. I would structure time. I would schedule maybe a half hour sometimes. Usually an hour on the weekends, I would get maybe a couple of hours in. I never expected myself to write further because what your audience wouldn’t know is I’ve recovered from a traumatic brain injury.
Being hyper-focused for a long time can wear me out. This even worked for me in that regard. Little by little, I was able to make progress and yet there was one morning that I had earmarked to start writing at 10:00 AM. I was cleaning my house and wiping the granite countertops. I was doing all these things and thinking to myself, “Would you just sit down and write?” I kept avoiding it and I was like, “What is going on with me?” I’m a neatnik to begin with but this was over the top. What ended up happening was I had put force into sitting myself down. What was cute was the chapter that I was writing had to do with what’s called mischief makers. The things that get in our way of doing what we need to be doing.
What was funny about it was it gave me information to start writing my chapter because I saw how I was avoiding a task that I had decided that I was committed to doing. Getting back to what you’re talking about is I think writer’s block happens for a multiple number of reasons. The ones that come to me first is what I mentioned. Sometimes we make something too big. One of the gifts that I eventually got to in my writing because writing now quite honestly comes to me pretty easily because I don’t put pressure on myself. I let myself just ramble on the keyboards if I need to. To give myself that kind of permission makes a big difference.Writing is healing and transformational in itself. Click To Tweet
First of all, lower expectations and start, even if you feel you have writer’s block, it’s really good. Maybe not in your book document itself but just write, get things out. What are you frustrated about? What’s bothering you? What are you concerned about and to allow yourself to like jumpstart the motor? Sometimes a timeout is needed because something else is trying to get in and it’s not in alignment with you at this point in time. When you write from your heart and keep in mind who you’re writing for, who’s your avatar? Who are you intending to read your book? It makes it a lot easier if we keep it in essence, conversational.
I don’t try to be the smartest kid on the block. I don’t even try to be the smartest kid anywhere. I just trust that something that I’m sharing somebody might be interested and benefit from it. I don’t have those high expectations. If somebody is having a writer’s block, go do something different. Draw, color, or do something creative to get movement. Go outside for a walk and get a little bit of exercise. Anything you can do to move the energy within your system can be helpful in that regard.
You read a non-fiction book. Most of mine have been fiction about that stopping point that we have. For me, I was writing fiction that was somewhat based in reality. My book that sold over 25,000 copies had a lot of truth in it. I felt like it was a stopping point where the universe was getting my attention and saying, “I love this little creative storytelling bit. Do you think I can yield something here?” Do you find that is an element of when you said that awareness that it’s not only a journey for the reader, it’s a journey for the writer?
That’s where a lot of people either get stuck or struggle a little bit. Even early in my book I shared some very heartfelt vulnerable places. I remember even talking to my publisher back then because I debated, “Should I be dishonest?” Obviously, I decided to be that honest, but it felt very naked for me to do that. At the same time, I’ve had people get back with me in different capacities going, “I can’t believe you went through that.” We never know how we may impact somebody else by being willing to be vulnerable and quite honestly, we are at a time where we need more of that. Writing is so healing, so transformational in itself. It’s possibly one of the reasons for many years, I’ve liked writing or blogging or writing my books. As long as I don’t think of it as a book, I’m okay. I still get caught up in, “It has to be this.”
I do feel that it brings about healing to places even though you were a fiction book. A lot of it was based on things that were real to you. You changed it up in a way and mine is nonfiction and so it was playing real. I do think that it’s very transformational. I remember a good friend of mine, when she was writing her first book, she wanted to hire somebody to write her book for her. She didn’t feel she was a good writer or whatever her excuses were and then she realized, “I have to be the one to share this.” It was such a transformational experience for her. The other thing is sometimes we don’t even realize how much brilliance we have to share.
It doesn’t mean that it’s in science or rocket science verbiage. There are times I’ve picked up my book. I open it up and I’m like, “That went pretty well.” In that sense, it’s great. I will also say that I self-published and found a big boo-boo in my book right as it came out. My book I believe starts out saying that, “August 22nd,” or it said, “August 20 something 1985 was one of the most special days in my life,” and that was when my son was born. My book came out that morning. We did well right out the shoot. I texted my son because I didn’t tell him that first of all I had dedicated the book to him and my father who was no longer alive and that the book talked about Adam.
I got to text and I said, “Did you download the book yet?” He texted me back and he said, “Unless you’ve been telling me wrong all these years, I’m pretty sure August, whatever I had put in is not my birthday.” I was like, “I had put his wrong birthday in the book.” The good thing about self-publishing, we were able to change it and I had already ordered fortunately a smaller number of books in print. I remember I was giving them out to family members and I looked at Adam, we had gotten together Thanksgiving and I said, “Why don’t you wait until I get my corrected books?” He said, “No, Mom. I want this one.”
Up until my third book when people started reading them, my first book, I had Stephen King’s first editor. It was pretty much perfect. My second one, someone came to me and said, “I’m a great editor. I’ve edited and ghostwritten for New York Times bestselling authors.” I let her edit it but nobody said anything about the mistakes in it because I’m a good storyteller, I’m not a great writer. My third book came out. It sold all those copies and then people started making the reviews or creating the reviews and were like, “Who edited this? It’s a great story.” Somebody actually said, “Did a monkey edit this?” I was so embarrassed. What was sad was my third book had already been edited by her and my fourth book was in her hands. I had to pull it all back and have it re-edited. It was a big mistake for someone who would go on to open a publishing company.
The lessons we learned didn’t get this “smart” because my life has been easy breezy all these years. It’s because the of all the gazillion mistakes and hardships I’ve had to overcome. I can appreciate that was a huge eye-opener. Do you know how many times I looked at my own copy and it never even clicked until my son said something? Even when I looked at it, I went, “I got his wrong birthday. How is that possible?” I had August 25th, but it was really August 22nd.
That is a good lesson for everybody writing a book. Have somebody else read it and a professional do it because we get a lot of books. When I ask if they’re edited, they’ll say, “My friend is a school teacher.” That’s great but they’re not a professional editor or that sort of thing. How can you help people when they’re going through this transformational writing journey? What do you do to get them through it? It’s something that needs to be healed. If we become aware of it during the process and it’s time to heal it, a lot of times we can’t do it on our own.When we align our mind and our hearts, it makes it a lot easier to write that book. Click To Tweet
I am now very blessed to be able to offer people not only relief but freedom. I had a very serious accident a number of years ago. I was flying from Texas to LA. I was working with the Fortune 100 company and I was sick. I should never have gone, but I was a Type-A workaholic kind of girl and the show must go on. I went outside the Dallas airport and unfortunately, I passed out. I fell over the ledge. I fell about 25 feet. My right leg was shattered. It was multiple surgeries and about eleven months before I would ever know that I would be able to walk again, which I do. I had some back fractures. Then I was later diagnosed with a traumatic brain injury that took quite some time. If that was not enough, around four weeks into being in the hospital, my former husband came, suitcases packed saying he no longer wished to be married, which I take my fair share of the responsibility for that decision.
The timing just was yucky. Then if that was not enough, he happened to be an attorney and when we went to the court, he was awarded full custody of our son who was only four and a half at that time. That’s when I broke into a whole lot of pieces. I had been fearless up to that point. People said, “Can you do this?” I was like, “Sure,” and whatever it was, I would always figure it out. I was a trailblazer. I didn’t know who I was and what I could possibly trust. Interestingly enough, it was my mom who suggested that I might want to learn how to meditate and quieting my mind was an oxymoron back at that point. To make a long story a little bit shorter, I went to somebody to learn how to meditate. My healing gifts started coming through me and started to be cultivated.
I shared this because I was not that girl prior to my accident. I started to be able to see energy. I was able to see where there were blocks within people. I’m very grateful that I have a whole system now that I use with my clients as well as training coaches and practitioners in it. I can find the core of anything that’s interfering, creating a misalignment or holding people back. People can shift very easily and quickly. There’s also a brain training element in my system because there are a lot of wonderful people that do release work. It’s very important to find the core, but also if you don’t do brain training, you risk falling into a default pattern and repeating again. My process eliminates that.
When people are discovering maybe emotions that had been buried for a while, we have our system, both our mind and our bodies do everything in their power to keep us safe. When you’re writing your book, it may bring up memories. It may bring up emotions. If you feel that it’s a bit much, then you do want to reach out to somebody like me because we can help make that transition a lot easier. I’ve worked with people with all types of issues. I do work with a lot of business owners just to help them accelerate their growth, their income and their profits. I’ve worked with people who have been abused. I’ve worked with people with learning disabilities, both adults and children. I have fun. I get to work with some people who want to attract love. I never knew that was going to be one of my signatures and couples who will want to replenish their relationships.
I’ve even helped people release weight because when we find what is getting in the way, it’s like sliding on snow or ice. It’s so much smoother sailing. When we hit those road bumps, typically it’s a part of our inner world that’s saying, “This does not feel safe.” More times than not, it is a safety issue or a not worthy issue are probably the two most common that happens. I do note that almost everybody that I work with, I have to adjust what I call their receiver. Their ability to receive more love and support. That’s a long explanation but the gift of living in our world is we do have ways to love those places back to health. I don’t know if I remove things, I guess we do.
We infuse so much love into the energetic body that impacts the mind and the physicality and it’s lovely what ends up happening. It would make it a lot easier to write that book. It’s possibly why I was able to write mine in such a short time and even to close the gap with anything that you’re wanting to do. It also allows for more clarity when we align our mind and our hearts. There have been times I’ve written and I was like, “Did I write that?”
I see days where it’s like, “I’m such a great writer,” and then other days I reread it and I’m like, “Massive brain farts that day. What was I thinking when I was writing?” Wendy, where can we find you if we need help?
My website is WendyDarling.com and my email is Wendy@WendyDarling.com.
Thank you so much for talking about this. It is something that writers need to key in on. I’m so glad I found a good writer to do that for us.
Thanks. I was happy to contribute.
About Wendy Darling
Wendy L. Darling, is founder of Miraculous Loving, a personal and professional growth organization offering presentations, seminars, retreats, and private coaching, dealing with matters of the heart. Wendy is a recognized expert on navigating change and achieving your desired results. Her transformational system, Healing HarmonicsTM, provides the vehicle for achieving those results with greater ease and speed.
Wendy has over 30 years of experience as a business and life transformation expert, master healing practitioner, management and organizational development consultant, manager and executive, entrepreneur, radio talk show personality and keynote speaker,
Wendy has a way of presenting simple, yet profound questions, ideas and thoughts in a way that her clients are motivated, but more important, inspired to action. She guides people to the core of their desires, navigating them to their best path to reach their target. She blends traditional business ideas with innovative techniques and practical life skills.
Wendy has designed and delivered more than 50 seminar and presentation topics to well over 200,000 people across the U.S. Some of her signature presentations and programs include: Miraculous Loving: The Art of ATTRACTING An Intimate and Fulfilling Relationship; Miraculous Loving (for couples); Winning At Business By Mastering Your Inner Game; Your Success Trifecta; and Loving Yourself Lean (a permanent solution for weight loss). In addition, Wendy has provided consulting and keynote presentations to some of the country’s leading organizations.
Wendy is a former contributing columnist for Metro Family, Dallas Family, Today’s Dallas Woman, Today’s Innovative Woman and hosted her own radio shows on CBS The Sky Radio, and also in Boca Raton, Fla. She has been featured in Forbes and other publications, and as a guest on numerous radio and TV shows. Wendy is the best-selling author of The Miracle That Is Your Life.
Wendy holds a Bachelor of Science degree in education, a Master of Education in counseling psychology and personnel services, a Specialist’s degree, and post-graduate work in Management and Organization Development from the University of Missouri – Columbia. Clients have dubbed Wendy as their personal “fairy godmother” for her ability to help them live the life of their dreams. You may reach Wendy at: email@example.com, www.wendydarling.com, www.lovinglean.com.
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