‘Why?’ To ‘Why Not?’: Sandy Duarte’s Cancer Journey

A cancer diagnosis changes everything, but how do you transform fear into resilience? Host Juliet Clark welcomes Sandy Duarte, a stage four cancer survivor, to share her powerful cancer journey and the lessons it taught her about self-talk, acceptance, and healing. Sandy reveals how embracing a “Why Not?” mindset helped her navigate the absurdity of cancer and find strength in the face of uncertainty. Her story is a testament to the human spirit’s ability to overcome even the darkest challenges with hope and purpose. Whether you’re seeking inspiration or looking to understand the power of mindset, this conversation offers something truly meaningful.

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‘Why?’ To ‘Why Not?’: Sandy Duarte’s Cancer Journey

Welcome to the show. Our guest is one of our authors. I think she’s going to tell you some stories that are really just going to blow you away. Before we get started, I want to remind you that we have our event on the first Friday of every month. This month, it’s Superstar Strategies to Transform Your Influence and Earnings. We have a content creator, and brand director, Joie Gharrity who is really going to dive into how you do this. Her programs are amazing, and I’m really looking forward to you guys being able to step up and hear what she has to say.

Sandy Duarte’s Cancer Journey

You can register for the event. It’s on February 7th and it’s BAMagTraining.com. If you’re ever just interested in what’s next month, go over to BAMagTraining.com and check it out. Not only can you register there, but it’ll tell you what the event is, and what time, and that’s where we put all of our monthly events now. Check out what you always got going, BAMagTraining.com. Our guest is Sandy Duarte and she is a stage four cancer survivor who has transformed her journey into a source of inspiration for others.

Engaging in both the creative and healing arts, she advocates for wellness and resilience using her experiences to empower those facing their own challenges. Sandy’s story is a testament to the strength of the human spirit and the healing power of creativity. Her new book, Cancer Ramblings is coming out next Tuesday. This is really a guide when we talk about the story that happened in the doctor’s office and how she was able to support other patients at the same time when she didn’t even know if she was going to live. Stay tuned for Sandy Duarte.

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Sandy, welcome.

Thank you for having me, Juliet.

I’m excited. I wish I’d had the recording going a few minutes ago. We had such a great conversation.

We just started going, but it started with your beautiful, amazing life story. I always love talking to you. It’s the highlight of my week when I get to start with you. Seriously.

Really? Thank you.

Thank you for having me.

How “Cancer Ramblings” Came To Life

I’m excited. Your book, Cancer Ramblings was just never on your radar at all. Tell me what inspired you to write about your cancer experience and how did you have the energy.

Good question. We were saying, off camera, I never intended to write about this. Like I really didn’t even care to journal. There were so many interesting experiences, like through the process, it’s all crazy and absurd and scary and beautiful. You meet interesting people along the way. Many times when I’d like to talk to my friends or share a little story, all this happened, or I met this and they’re like, “You should be writing this down. You should journal, not writing to book, but just put a journal.”

I’m like, “I don’t feel like journaling. I never intended on journaling.” Also, my thought was, “Who needs another cancer book? Who needs another story? Really?” I never intended to write at all. One day, I think a couple of weeks into my treatment, I’m taking my walks with my chemo friend, my chemo machine. I always try to get my steps. I swear to you titles were coming into my head, book titles. I’m like, “What’s going on here?”

It is exciting and at the same time like, “No, I’m not a writer. What’s going on?” Finally, the title that I have is Cancer Ramblings: From Why to Why Not? Navigating the Absurdity of Cancer and Life, but the Cancer Ramblings portion was the permission I needed where it was like, “Here girl, go for it.” Cancer Ramblings just dropped in my head. I’m like, “There’s the title. The title led to literally, I designed the cover first.”

From there, it was the permission to be like, go ahead, ramble on. The rambling took away the formality of what I think a writer needs to be. I mean, there are brilliant writers out there, educated but I’m not educated in a writer, I’m just right. Through that permission, I’m like, “Let’s do it.” I just started rambling every day. It was like therapy for me. It was what I needed. It got me out of the aloneness and the strangeness of it.

It helped me. I have a chapter that’s called Right to the Light. It makes me emotional. You’re not writing just for yourself. You’re writing for something in the ether. Do what I mean? As I was writing for myself, I needed this therapy to understand. It gave me a bigger platform in something out there to be like, somebody needs this. Who knows, but I’m just going to keep going. Every ramble is just really of the moment from the beginning of my journey until the end of when I get the reveal that I’m cancer-free. That’s the story in a nutshell. It was not my choice. It happened.

That’s so wild because I think when other people read it, they’re going to see little bits of fear and hope that you did as part of that as well. Talk to me, because you had such an incredible story about this, about the concept for moving from why to why not. How it helped you cope? Not only that, like once you get that, then you started communicating it to the doctors around you and the other people and you are helping other people with that attitude. Can you talk about that a little bit?

It’s so simple. As soon as I got the diagnosis, I still to the end thought it was just a cyst or something. When the doctor came in and he was like, “You have cancer.” The first thing I said is I swore, “What the F?” I was just like, “What?” It takes a moment for you to get those words. It’s a bomb. I was like, “Okay.” You just take it. It’s like for a moment, I’m like, “Why?” You start asking why, but nothing makes sense. One plus one equals ten here. You know what I mean? Like, “I’m healthy, I’m this.” People start asking you why.

The Shift From ‘Why Me’ To ‘Why Not’

Nurses and friends and my mom. I literally had people who didn’t know me, “You work out and you do yoga.” “That means I don’t get sick. Are you kidding me?” There are so many whys. Even my doctors were and they meant, of course, but like, “Why? You didn’t feel this, how?” There’s all these questions, screw the questions. I got to a point where I was just like, forget the why. Why not? Why shouldn’t this happen to me or to anybody? As soon as the why not is accepted, which leads to transcendence.

As soon as it was like, why not? Who cares? Let’s move on now with figuring out what to do next, it’s empowering. I no longer was there, “Why me crying?” It was like, “Let’s just do this. Who cares?” It’s transformative. The why not is really another way, another how into acceptance. Accept it, you look at it, “This is the beast, let’s move on.” Cancer became a friend to me. It didn’t become an illness. I barely use the word I have cancer unless I need it to my advantage. Like just don’t define yourself. It’s a friend who’s visiting you.

I say cancer is the new cavity. A lot of people have it and it can come and go. In my case, and I’m not trying to make it light, there are terminal cases of people that I’ve heard, just there’s a lot of death. Cancer is a serious, ugly thing. I’m not here to be all positive and it’s all it’s a shitty thing. At the same time, depending on where you are with it in your mind, you can really see it as a teacher, as a strange visitor, and then you just move on. How do we get to the end?

When I got to that, I told my doctors and I said, “Listen, I don’t care about the in-betweens and the details.” I really kept myself a little bit ignorantly blissful. I said, “I just know that I see myself walking out of the hospital.” That was the mindset, accept and what do you see at the end? I see myself walking out, I see myself on a beach. The other day I was running on the beach. Where do you go with your mind?

I have to believe that mindset was really crucial in your healing. I think you did. I was going to say, my next question was, can you elaborate on the role of acceptance and transcendence in your cancer journey? That sounds like exactly what you just did. You told me a story that had to do with self-talk and visualization. I would love for you to tell that. I mean, I could synopsis of it, you guys, but when she tells it, it’s incredible. Would you mind sharing that?

Yes, and I love it, because when we were first chatting, you and I, you were like, that story, I love that you understand and it got you. How I found out about the cancer was I couldn’t breathe. I thought I had bronchitis so I had a cold or something, which I had like a walking pneumonia years ago. Every time I’m on the West Coast, I get something funky with my lungs. It’s just a different climate than Toronto East Coast. My doctor had given me antibiotics. It helped me, but it didn’t. I was declining to the point, I couldn’t even move my car, coming up my hill.

I was just like, “What is going on?” Finally, I told my doctor we needed a scan. We go for an MRI. She calls me and it’s that voice on the other line like in the movies where you’re like this is not a good call. She’s like, “Forget your lung. There’s a huge mass that’s on your left side where your lung is. The lung is pretty much gone, but let’s think about the mass.” I’m like, “Huh? Let’s do another one.” “I want to see you again.”

We go, we do it again. Comes back, she’s like, “You need to go to the hospital and you just go to this one right now.” One of my dear friends, I called and I’m like, “Is this is happening? Can you meet me?” I still taught my class. I’m like, “I’m going to go teach my 5:30.” All vocal, and verbal, which I love to flow and do physical stuff in my body. I’m like, “It’s teaching me to use my mouth and my brain and not demonstrate. Fine.”

I did it. After that, he meets me at the hospital. I thought it’d be in and out like, “Let’s go look at this.” It never left. It was cancer. The cancer squashed my left lung and the few doctors were like it’s very normal to live with one lung. I did not accept that. I’m like, “I have two lungs for a reason.” I was like, “No, that’s not going to work for me.” All that, man, we did so many scans, Juliet. It was the most intense two weeks of my life of scans and biopsies, everything eyes open, no anesthesia.

Long story short, after the grueling, two weeks, I finally get stripped of all my stuff. They moved me to a room for one night with a nice shower. I finally feel like a lady. My body looks weird. My lymph nodes are all over the place, swelling. I finally take the longest shower, over an hour, the steam is permeating, I got beats playing music, nurses I can hear coming like, “Where’s Sandy?” “She’s still in the shower.”

I’m sitting there and I’m like, “I have to get my body together.” I sat in the shower and I thought I had to do the self-talk. I have to talk to my body. This is wisdom that I make up. It’s the doctor dispenses. It’s everybody out there who knows more than me with the science of self-talk and cells and all this stuff. I subscribe to that. I believe in that very much, but here it’s serious now. Now we have to really make this physical stuff happen.

I’m sitting there showering and I finally have a talk and I talk to my right lung and I tell her. Here’s how I’m like, “You listen, she’s gone, man.” I said, are your sister’s gone? She’s gone, man.” I’m talking to her like that. Like a friend like, “She is gone. We have to help her.” I just had a really stern talk with my body, with the right lung to help the sister on the left. It was a good five minutes or so of that. I don’t remember. Time passes and I’m still in the shower.

Let’s say about 15, or 20 minutes later, I’m showering. I’m just enjoying feeling naked in warm water with nothing in my body. I feel like a lady. I feel something coming out of my left nostril, which was dry forever. I’m like, “What?” I’m even blowing my nose, not to be gross, but like, “What?” There’s life. That is the sign of life. I know that my left lung is alive. There’s something there. Fast forward. I get out. My nurses come to see me. I said, “My left lung, she’s good. She’s alive. It’s going to be fun to look at me.”

Like they’re used to me, but they look at me like, “What?” I’m like, “I know there’s life in this left lung, even though it was black on the X-rays and it’s still.” Fast forward into the chest tube. Fast forward, I have my left lung. She came back. She came out of the black. She somehow came back. I knew it was that moment in the shower that I’ll never forget, the self-talk. “Get your body together. Be the captain. Will it.” Will it happen for everyone? I don’t know but you got to try something when you’re in your darkest hour. It’s not accepting that, knowing that I can help this. We’re not gone yet. That’s the story in a nutshell, that we were talking about a while ago.

That’s just crazy. That it really is. Your book is structured as a series of ramblings. Why was that helpful for you?

It was an informal nature to go through the process without being anything. I don’t want to be anything if that makes sense. I’m not here to be, “This is what you need to do.” No, it’s through the informal journey of just being human through the experience, that can I find healing, maybe understanding, growing, and learning. I just wanted that to be much more of a relatable place for myself and for people.

It had to be, Juliet because I wasn’t writing in a formal structure with an arc. I was just going through this weird thing called life, which doesn’t fall under any rhyme or reason, as you know when we were talking about your amazing story. You just going through it. I just needed to just go through it. The ramblings are that permission and that informal way of being that I think most of us go through and I wanted to just be that, be nothing, and then to find something, a kernel.

That’s amazing. This is a weird question, but I think you and I are very much aligned on Eastern Western medicine. I know you’re a huge yoga practitioner. One of my children the other day said something so funny to me. I was trying to tell her how to loosen her hips and she’s resisting. I’m like, “Why are you resisting?” She’s like, “Mom, I swear to God, I could be dying and you’d show me a yoga pose that would bring me back to life.” Knowing that and being that involved with that and just holistically Eastern medicine oriented, how did you blend your knowledge of Eastern medicine with what you were going through with Western medicine?

That’s such a good question. Everybody’s cancer journey is different. There are great people out there, like for example, Kris Carr, she’s a huge cancer advocate and beyond cancer but she’s been living with her cancer through diet and stuff. There are so many choices out there for people that they don’t want to do the chemo or they don’t want to do whatever it is. It’s all so personal. For me, I really believe I had no choice. I’d be dead.

Blending Eastern And Western Medicine In Healing

I mean, this thing was growing very fast. I don’t have an aversion to blending things. I don’t think, why do we have to be so black and white. I think that’s the danger. Why cannot we marry the beauty and brilliance of science with the greatness from the East, ancient holistic wisdom to bring it together? Fortunately, I had a team that was amazing at all of you medical, UCLA, great doctors, great team. Nobody ever looked weird at me or said, “You shouldn’t do something.”

It’d always be like, “Let’s see when you can do that. When can you take your supplements, best after the chemo, in between your rounds so that it doesn’t mess, but go ahead.” It’s nice when people have the brain to be like, this is the science, this is this, but we’re not afraid of the other side. They can work together. Why do they have to be against each other and because of that, I think it really helped me because I really had very strong chemo. My chemo was really strong and it was five days, five nights and they kept increasing it.

I got to round four and I’m like, “Can we just stay here? I’m scared of 5 and 6.” My doctor said, “You have a choice. Sure, we can stay at the medication at four,” which blew me away. “We’ll see you for the rest of your life or we keep going higher and I’ll never have to see you again.” I chose obviously, “Let’s go, let’s do this.” They were really great at the same time at letting me know that what you’re doing in between, keep doing it as well. There was a lot of juicing in between.

There were a lot of mushroom supplements like turkey tail, which is really known to help your cells to find a way to repair and battle through. There was a lion’s mane. Towards the end, there were crystal bowls because guess what? Crystal bowls, your cells are known to become more receptive to chemo. We have 70 trillion cells in our body, each with a little antenna. When they respond to whatever is happening with those bowls, you’re becoming even more of peaceful environment to take in the beautiful poison that you need.

You’re living and you’re dying at the same time. It’s the yin and the yang. It’s the east and the west. They could come together. I believe that saved me too. It’s what you do in the in-betweens holistically to help the beautiful poisons that helped me survive and shrink that crazy friend of mine. That was crazy. He was massive. He was 10 by 15 across my chest. I really believe that you can use your wisdom. Don’t be afraid of science. You can hear so much, “Don’t do this.” Use your wisdom and have conversations with people. That’s what I really believe.

Let’s go back to your conversations. This is the reason many doctors are going to help you and bring you into the hospitals that you’re booking already. You spoke to another patient about the why and why not concept. She went back and told them and they thought, “This is so inspirational that now they’re bringing you into the hospital with your book and we’re going next steps into journals and bookstores and hospitals to help other people. Talk about that because that’s pretty incredible too that your doctor would say, “That’s amazing that you just told her that and it gave her hope.”

Actually, it’s funny. I’m going to be launching my podcast for the new year called Cancer Rambling. Obviously in line with the book. This particular friend, who’s now a sister-friend to me for life. I mean, we have dinner, we talk. She’s going to be one of my guests. Anyway, here comes this girl at midnight. She gets wheeled in, she’s just midnight in terrible pain. I’m just like in the dark and peace sleeping. I’m getting discharged the next day for my recovery round.

She was so impressive because other people I shared a room with never did this. She’s in terrible pain, major surgery, hysterectomy, they’ll very ovaries, all that stuff. I’m too stupid to repeat. I mean, she would have to tell you the details of all that surgery, horrible pain. What you feel like I needed to go for a walk? I couldn’t be in the room too much. You feel how viscerally her pain is. She comes at midnight with my nurse, nurse Frank, who I just adore, and opens the door.

She goes, “Can I see who she is? She wants to see who I am. Who’s her new roomie?” She came and she greeted me and I thought, “Who does that in such pain? Classy to just say hi.” I said, “Hi.” I’m lying there. She’ll tell the story another way on the future show. She goes lie down and they let us be and it’s 1:00 AM now.

Time fast forward after she gets settled and she goes, she has a sweet little accent and she asks me if I’m okay to talk, “Can we talk?” I’m tired, but I’m like, “I’m going to talk to this new friend of mine.” She’s going on and it was like a light. It’s a light of being like, “I feel so much better in my own body, being able to help and be of service to someone in that moment. Isn’t that the magic of life?” She was going on and on about why. “Why me? Why?”

I was, “Did you want kids?” She asked me, I said, “No.” She goes, “I wanted kids.” Now she cannot have kids. It was a lot of why. I’m like, “Holy cow.” I talked to her. I said, “Listen, you can go on with the wise for the rest of the night if you want.” I don’t remember the exact words, but basically, “You have to now accept it. Accept it, and forget the why. Tomorrow, stop asking why. You’re never going to get the answer. I’m never going to get my answer. Why who cares?”

I said, “Now you accept it, you fight and you embrace this next chapter.” I don’t know, we were rambling until 3:00 in the morning. Long story short, fast forward, I leave, we stay in touch and I come back two weeks later and it’s a joy when people have something like this to say. The nurse comes, the same nurse, and he goes, “I need to know we’re friends now, me and her stayed in touch.”

He goes, “Sandy, I want to ask you a question.” I need to have him as a guest too. He’s been a nurse in oncology for like 30 years. The story, the crazy things he’s seen. He goes, “I want to ask you, what did you talk to Sahara about? Like, what, what are you, what did you say to her? Like, what did you talk about” I’m like, “Huh?” He’s like quizzing me about that. I’m like, “I don’t know. I’m just telling her she has to accept. I’m like we talked.” He goes, “The next morning she was a different person. She changed.” To me that melted my heart.

Now, I mean, she’s amazing. We all get our moments where like, it’s life is hard, but she’s really beyond the why. She’s fiercely into the why not. She looks healthy, she’s vibrant, and it’s a joy to see her evolution. That’s just the conversation. It was a joy to hear that. I’m like, I don’t know, but yeah. It’s inspiring and it made me go, “Huh.” There’s a reason for this book. There’s a reason for this journey to help empower at that moment, somebody to be even greater, even bigger, even better than they ever imagined. If you can sprinkle a little bit of that magic for their personal greatness, it’s so rewarding, Juliet. It was magical in that moment and it still is.

A Message Of Hope And Love Through “Cancer Ramblings”

That’s amazing. Your new book, Cancer Ramblings, we can find it on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, you guys. This is a week out. It’ll be released next week and go buy it in pre-sale. We really want to get this up to number one and just help as many people as we can out there. I even mentioned to you that the gentleman from Full House just got the same diagnosis you did. Hopefully, somebody knows him and we can get him a copy as well to hopefully help on his journey too because it’s a tough journey.

If anyone wants to learn more or see more, they just go at CancerRamblings.com. Super simple. It’s a real joy. Listen, who knows what anything is in this life, but to share it through the word, through writing, through this, through conversation, it makes the journey of life less absurd because it can be quite nuts to wrap your head around. I just want people to know out there that you’re not alone. The idea of this separation and this aloneness, it’s an illusion. We’re always connected to love. We’re always connected to light and to each other.

That’s a big key message for me, just keep leaning on love as much as possible through the journey. Just love melts everything. There can be no fear when your heart is melted into love. Just find that. Find your love chance, find that repetition. Before I let you go or you let me go, it’s as simple as just repeating love. Repeat it so deeply in your heart where it becomes the first words and then it melts into emotion in your heart space. It can bring you to tears and then you find yourself free even for a moment from all the ugliness that cancer really can be.

That was beautiful. Thank you, Sandy. Thank you for sharing your journey with us.

Thank you, Juliet. Always enjoy. You’re so amazing and I appreciate it. Thank you for having me on your show.

You’re welcome.

Important Links

• Sandy Duarte on LinkedIn
• Joie Gharrity on LinkedIn
• BA Mag Training
• Cancer Ramblings

About Sandy Duarte

Sandy Duarte is a stage 4 cancer survivor who has transformed her journey into a source of inspiration for others.

Engaging in both the creative and healing arts, she advocates for wellness and resilience, using her experiences to empower those facing their own challenges.

Sandy’s story is a testament to the strength of the human spirit and the healing power of creativity.

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