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Strategies For Getting Unstuck with Dawn Meyer
My guest is Dawn Meyer. Before I get to introduce her, I want to remind you all to go over and take our Promote, Profit, Publish quiz at www.PromoteProfitPublishQuiz.com and find out where you’re at with monetizing whatever project you’re doing. Dawn Meyer is a former NASA rocket scientist who uses coaching, energy healing and access consciousness to do the same thing for people that she used to aim to achieve with rockets, helping them to escape their earthbound constrictions and elevate them to the next level. She assists them to bring more ease and joy to their lives by helping them discover that they have more choices and possibility for changing what isn’t working in their lives than they ever thought possible. Dawn frees them to live the life they’re here to live. Dawn and I got back from a business acceleration quiz. I asked her to do this interview or chat because what she presented there is a new program that she is promoting. It’s going to be releasing in January. It’s how to get yourself unstuck. For book people, a lot of times we start writing that book and all of a sudden we get stuck. We’re going to talk a little bit about that. Dawn, welcome.
Juliet, it’s great to be on again.
If you guys remember, Dawn was on back in July or August, talking about the accessories she did for her book. Do you want to talk a little bit about your book?
My book is called the Gratitude For Life Journal. It also has a deck of cards that go with it. It’s about helping you to appreciate all the things in your life that you may not think are contributing to your life but really are. Diving into that and being present with that gratitude so that you can start drawing in those things that you would like to have in your life. Having gratitude does make you a magnet for the things that you would like to have. I’m shamelessly promoting myself, you can get my book and cards on IAmPurpleDawn.com/store. You’ll see them all listed in the store.
Dawn and I on the cruise, I have this belief that when writer’s block occurs within your book that it is the universe making you aware that it’s not going to let you go any further until you become aware of the problem at hand. I noticed in myself and a lot of healers, we teach the thing that we need to heal the most. I want Dawn to share a little bit about some things to get you unstuck and the energy that you bring to the book. How do the readers feel that?
When I get stuck, when I’m working on a book or any project, I start asking questions. Shannon, who was the person who put together the cruise has called me the queen of questions. It is that I ask questions about everything because questions open up the energy. They let the universe know that you’re open to something different, something new showing up. When you’re getting stuck in writing your book, start asking questions. What is it that’s creating this for me? What lesson is it that perhaps the university is presenting to me that I’m avoiding or ignoring? A lot of times we pretend those lessons don’t exist.
Start telling the universe, “I would like to get beyond this, this time. What is it that I need to learn? What is it that I need to do or stop doing?” Sometimes it’s those things that we need to stop doing that are holding us back because we keep thinking that, “I have to keep doing this,” and maybe you don’t. Maybe it’s time for you to let go of it. Those are all good questions. If you’re stuck, maybe go do something else for a little while. What is it that would get my creative juices flowing again? Maybe simply going outside for ten minutes, fifteen minutes and being in nature. Let whatever it is that’s blocking you start to dissipate so that when you come in, you can start anew with where you are and start letting the realizations and the awareness start flowing again.
This is my personal belief that every book we write is a human journey. We write it for a reason. There’s something that has to heal. Along with that means that the energy we write the book with becomes transparent to the reader as well. How do we overcome things like that? We’re in the midst of healing. Your energy is always going to be in the book, but how do we heal what we are working with and still make it a book that is transparent and readable for the reader?
I don’t know that you can ever have your energy be transparent in the book because sometimes that’s the whole point of the book is for them to heal the same thing that you’re healing. That’s why you’re writing the book. That’s why the book has shown up because it’s something that needs to be out there for other people as well as for you. If you’re getting bogged down in some of the negative things that you’re putting in the book, it’s time to stop and look at that and say, “What is it that I need to let go of here so that I don’t push that energy out into the book?” It may be that you need to rewrite that section or add something different to it so that the reader doesn’t get stuck in it too. Sometimes it may take them down that same rabbit hole that you’re going down and that may not be what’s best for them. It may be that whatever it is that got you out of that is what you need to put into the book. If there is some lesson that you learned and some technique or some realization or awareness that came to you, maybe that’s what needs to be in the book so that the reader says, “I’m starting down this path.” They come across what it is that you did to get out of it and that helps them get out of it too.
We get several books a year in the door that are supposed to be self-help books that when we read them, but it’s an angry mess. You can actually tell that this person hasn’t resolved. This author wrote this book years ago. We had an author who wrote a book about perfection and how she had overcome perfection. On the 23rd correction in the book, my staff was screaming like this woman has no right writing a book about perfection. How do we avoid bringing that energy? Do they stop and do the exercises to get unstuck? How do they become aware that they’re doing it?
I would say certainly allow someone else to read your book before you have it go out and be open to people saying things like that. Maybe you’re going in a direction that’s not beneficial to your readers or this not beneficial to anyone because certainly sometimes having angry book isn’t necessarily beneficial to anyone. If you catch yourself doing it, that’s when you need to stop and say, “What is it that I’m going through here that perhaps I need to deal with or get unstuck in it or heal it or whatever terminology you got going so that I can move beyond it before I complete this section?” There are all sorts of different ways of doing that. It’s getting present with what it is you’re going through at the moment and say, “What is it that’s creating this and what’s my next step for letting it go?” Sometimes it’s being aware of the fact that that’s what it is and then saying, “I’m willing to let it go. What’s it going to take for me to let it go?It's possible to get beyond the past when you're willing to let it go and realize you don't have to stay there. Click To Tweet
One of the other things that we see a lot with books that perhaps you can help our readers with are people who are not vulnerable storytellers. How do you channel those vulnerable stories out into whatever you’re putting them into?
I always approach it as if it’s a movie. I approach it as if it’s not me sometimes that I’m writing about. If it is me, I approach it as if I’m telling it like it’s a movie, like this is what it’s going to be, so I can see it on the big screen playing out and being willing. Maybe that’s not a technique that other people can use. When you’re looking at it, be willing to be present with those feelings. A lot of times we get to the point where we’d rather avoid those feelings and realize, “I’m only going to go through them for this book and then I can let them go. I don’t have to move in. I don’t have to get this, go back, move into that address and live there anymore. It’s barely being present with it for this moment so that I can use it to heal me and help other people heal themselves.” That’s how I look at going through it.
Going back to what you said about having your friends read the book, one of my friends wrote an entire book and when we read it as friends, we were like, “Where’s this story and that story?” She was hesitant to put those stories in. After she rewrote and it was published, the thing that readers kept coming back to where those stories because those stories resonated with people. Is reliving those into movie form help you put it out without becoming overly emotional about it?
Sometimes yes, and realizing that I don’t have to live in that anymore. I was writing a talk with one of my coaches and she said, “You need to have a story in this.” I said, “I don’t want to go back into that.” She said, “Just talk about it.” That’s when I remembered, that’s right, I don’t have to live there anymore. I can merely relate what it is, what I was experiencing at the time and then say, “I’m not in that place anymore.” It was announcing it to myself that I’m not there anymore and to everyone else that I’m not there anymore. It shows that you can get beyond that. The important part is that you tell people it’s possible to get beyond that when you’re willing to let it go and be willing to go down sometimes the past that you don’t want to go down and realize you don’t have to stay there.
One of the things that happened to me with my third book, Granny Heist, was that I related childhood stories. It was a family history, but with a lot of fiction in it. It was interesting because when my mother read it, she had two thoughts. First was, “Everybody’s going to know that’s me.” The second thought was when she was going through it, she would query me about some of those stories. She would say, “That’s not quite how it happened.” For me, that was a good experience to go back and test some of those stories that I had told myself growing up. That was a real healing journey in that sense. It’s like, “Grandma wasn’t like that, was she?” There’s a lot to be said to healing your stories inside of books as well with that. How do you recommend people to heal stories like that?
If again, you can get a second perspective or third or fourth perspective on it as to what happened because we’re so good at filling in the blanks in our life, so that if we don’t remember something exactly, we’ll fill something in so that it doesn’t have a gap there. That may or may not be what happened. When you can sit down with somebody and say, “I remember this being the case.” Other people can say,” I don’t remember that at all or yes, I remember that.” You can look at what actually happened and how much of it you made up because we are very good storytellers. Sometimes that story isn’t real. Look at if you pass somebody in the hallway. You say hi and they don’t say anything, how much of a story do you make up about that couple of seconds that you have no basis for other than that the person walked by you? Your whole life is full of stories like that and they may or may not be all factual. I would say a lot of it is not factual.
Especially those things you’ll remember from your childhood as well because I’ve heard people say, “My big sister, my little sister is mean.” You meet that person and you’re like, “Yes, they seem nice to me,” but there’s something in that dynamic that you’ve picked up from your childhood that gives you a sour note or something. It is one of those things to go back and explore.
The other thing about the things from your childhood is sometimes it’s not even your memory that you’re going with, you’re going with what somebody else told you happened. It was so long ago, you remember a few things here and there. You take their memory and you fill in the pieces. You fill in the blanks. It may not be what happened at all for you. It’s looking at those things from your perspective and then from other people’s perspective and asking, “What is it that I do remember?” I have things that turned out to be that they were dreams when I started telling other people about them. I had remembered it as if they were actual memories and they weren’t.
There was a gentleman that was at CEO Space who has a session every Wednesday night that the public can go to and it’s at DreamSchool.org. They actually talk, you’re able to relate your dreams and talk about what those dreams mean. It was very funny because I was trying to relay to him my dream about not cleaning my room and everything that was on my bed was a snake. To hear some of those things be interpreted, for me that’s very real for a very long time. I wouldn’t go to sleep at night. I couldn’t sleep because I was afraid of the snakes would come back. It’s amazing the power of dreams and what is real and what isn’t from that perspective. How did you find out for yourself that those things you remembered were dreams?
Mostly in talking to other members of my family. I would say, “I remember it this way.” They say, “I don’t remember anything like that ever happening,” and they were in the memory. The fact that they didn’t remember it was a clue to me that was not something that happened. If two or three of them were in it and none of them remember it, chances are it didn’t happen.
Unless you live in a dysfunctional family where nobody remembers anything.
That’s a possibility too, but I felt it was a rather innocuous thing and probably it didn’t happen.
Give us some of your strategies for getting unstuck. What’s coming up in this course that you are going to be giving? Can you put us through some great exercises on the ship?Be willing to stand in who you are and who you would like to be. Click To Tweet
For the class that I’m going to be doing, it’s called Reboot Your Boundaries and Relationships. It’s about getting out of those places where you’re over-giving, where you’re not taking care of yourself and those sorts of things. What I start teaching people is to look at, first of all, what is it you would like to have as your life and in your life? How could you change what you’re doing now to get there? What is it that you’re taking on that maybe you don’t need to take on? There are things that we believe are our responsibility and they aren’t necessary. We’ve told ourselves that they are or other people have told us that they are our responsibility and it isn’t. It’s simply something that we’ve decided that that’s the best thing we should do.
A lot of times I know that when I was growing up, one of the things that were big was it was better to be in service to others than it was to do anything else. You have to ask yourself, “Is that true? If I never take care of me, pretty soon I’m on empty and there’s nothing left to give, so where does that leave me?” They have that saying, you put your oxygen mask on first and it’s not about airplanes, it’s about everything else in your life. When you’re looking at getting unstuck in those places, it’s to start looking at the places that you’re doing these things where you’re not taking care of you, where you’re not being true to you and start looking at where does that come from? When did I buy into that? Who taught me that? Is it true for me? I have exercises that I’ll be taking people through, similar to some of the ones we did on the cruise to start looking at that and looking at how you’ve constructed your life and is it the life you’d like to be living in? Is it a life that contributes to you? It might not be. You may be simply running on empty now and that’s not a good place to be. I’ve been there, I know how that looks and how that works, and that’s not a good place to be.
When we are relating back to the books, the energy and getting stuck, it’s about breaking patterns.
It’s all about letting go of those patterns because we create these patterns and systems in our life. It’s almost like we’re running on autopilot in places because we say, “When this happens, I always do this action. When this happens, I always do this action,” and we have all these things that take over so we don’t have to think about it. We don’t have to be present with it. When we can start breaking that pattern and letting go of those autopilot settings, then you can start getting into what you would like to be happening in your life. When you go back and you do action B, action B isn’t necessarily there anymore. It’s time to find something new to do. That’s what I help people do is to let go of those autopilot settings so that you can create something completely different and preferably something that is a benefit to you. That actually is something that you enjoy. It’s something that nurtures you, something that lets you have the strength to go on.
When you were talking on the boat, I was thinking, “This is exactly what I was writing.” As I was writing book three, I was seeing those patterns within my family. I want to talk a little bit about some of the things that happen when you do that because I was able to identify some of those things and do things differently. I got a lot of pushback from the other people involved, the triangulation that I had gotten. I want to bring that up because I don’t want people to expect, “This is easy. I’m going to do this and all will be great.” There is a lot of confirming that pattern, working that pattern and dealing with that pushback. The best way to say it is it’s going to get worse before it gets better.
It might, it might not. You have to realize that once people have decided that that’s the role you should be playing in life, then when you decide not to play that role anymore, you may get some pushback from them. It might not always be pleasant. You’ve got to be willing to stand in who you are and who you would like to be and start working with them, “I can’t do this anymore. It’s not working out for me. It’s harming me. What can we do different that will work for both of us?” Be willing to sit down and have an actual conversation with them because some people are so used to, “You’re going to be there and you’re going to do this.” They don’t talk to you about it. They don’t ask you if you’d like to do it. They expect it. Sometimes it can be from all sorts of different people. It may not even be your family. It may be friends. It may be people that you work with. Realize that people have these roles that they’ve decided you should play.
Once you decide that you don’t want to play those, then you’ve got to start working with them and making compromises. Sometimes people will no longer be in your life after that. You’ve got to be willing to realize sometimes that’s going to happen. Some of the harder things in my life have been to let go of the people who were not creating what I would like to have in my life. They were expecting me to be a certain way. I didn’t want to be that anymore. I didn’t want to go down those paths anymore. Some of them I had to let go of. Sometimes I say, “Bless them in their mess and let them go on,” because sometimes that’s what it is. That’s where they want to live and they expect you to be in the mess with them to keep them company and you don’t want to do it anymore.One of the hard things in life is to go of the people who are not creating what you would like to have in your life. Click To Tweet
It happens especially a lot with kids that when you rescued, at that point where you don’t rescue anymore and you say, “It’s time you grow up, go handle this. Have fun. I’m here if you need me, but I won’t do it for you.”
“I could do it for you. If you want some advice, I’d give you some advice. I’ll give you some help, but I’m not doing it for you anymore.”
There are some valuable lessons in there when you do that for yourself. I say that about moms because it seems like moms have the toughest time because we do so much for our kids. We have to get to that point where we couldn’t do it anymore.
With your mom, sometimes it’s that you have to get to that point where you let go of what she has done for you all this time and you let go of some of the things that she’s expecting you to do for her. It works both ways.
Where people will find this most beneficial though is if you have toxic relationships in your life. Sometimes we don’t let those toxic relationships go because they’re family. We’ve been taught family is everything.
We’ve been taught, “I can fix this.” Maybe, maybe not. It may not be something that you can fix because it’s not all yours to fix. If the other person doesn’t want to fix it or change it, then sometimes you have to let it go.
Women do that a lot. They’re used to fixing everything, keeping everybody happy and pleasing everybody. This will be a great force for a lot of people. How do we get in touch with you for the course and how do we get your book? It’s a great little workbook. I’m working on it every day. It has a question of the week. It resonates with the cards that go alongside things that you can do. Thought patterns, like what can I do for myself? What are the three things I like about my body?
I’m doing a gratitude a day on the Facebook group, which is Gratitude For Life on Facebook. At the end of it, every time you contribute, you get put into a drawing for one of my recorded classes. Most people, they sit down to do their gratitude. They write the same three things every day. It’s like, “No, look at these other things in your life.” Three things I like about my body. Three things that made me laugh this week. Three people I enjoy being with or places I like to go. Realize how much that contributes to your life. It brings you joy and happiness and it shifts your energy when you do those things. That tells the universe, I enjoy this. I would like more of that in my life and realize you can still say, “I would like more,” and it’s okay. It doesn’t make you any less grateful for what you have to say you’d like more.
I would like more that tells the universe to bring it to you.
You’re opening up saying, “I’m open to change. I’m open to something different. Bring it on.” For my class, it’s going to be an in-person class. It’s the 26th of January. For those of you who would like to get a little bit warmer here and come to Florida for a class, I invite you to join us. It’s IAmPurpleDawn.com/Reboot-Relationships. You can register for the class and it tells you some of the things that we’re going to be covering. I tell people it’s for perpetual people pleasers, relationship rescuers and family fixers.
We need to get through those problems to finish their books.
When you do that, you’re overstressing. You’re not having boundaries. You’re not looking at what it is that you would enjoy. You’re not looking at some of the things that you need to heal within you. A lot of times, what you need to heal within you is where it needs to be in the book.
Thank you very much for being on. We appreciate it.
Thank you. I had a good time.
Thank you, Dawn.
Thank you so much, Juliet.
- Dawn Meyer
- Gratitude For Life Journal
- Granny Heist
- Reboot Your Boundaries and Relationships
- Gratitude For Life on Facebook
About Dawn Meyer
Dawn C. Meyer is a former NASA rocket scientist who uses coaching, energy healing and Access Consciousness® to do the same thing for people that she used to aim to achieve with rockets: help them to escape their earth-bound constrictions and elevate them to the next level. She assists them to bring more ease and joy to their lives by helping them discover that they have more choices and possibilities for changing what isn’t working in their lives than they ever thought they had. Dawn frees them to live the life they’d love to live.
Dawn C. Meyer assists people to create the life they would love to live. She uses her unique combination of skills to assist people in bringing more ease and joy to their lives by helping them discover that they have more choices and possibilities for changing what isn’t working in their lives than they ever thought they had. She is an empowering coach, energy healer, best-selling author, inspirational speaker, Access Consciousness Certified Facilitator, massage therapist, Reiki master and former Space Shuttle Engineer (“Rocket Scientist”).